Bethany Discussion Forums

Update:
We met the expectant mom on Tuesday and she was so sweet and nice. We were all really nervous, and our sw got that out on the table right away, which ironically, put us all a little more at ease. I ended up bringing homemade brownies and a hand-written card which felt just right to me. Now, I suppose we are just waiting to see if this baby is meant to be ours or not. The e-mom seems decided on adoption, but I know better than to feel like it's a sure thing. We just continue to prepare our home for a baby in December, and prepare our hearts to accept God's will for this mother and child. 7 weeks seems like such a long time, but I'm trying to keep busy so I don't get obssessive about it!


I know there's nothing to be nervous about, and I'm a firm believer that worrying about a situation is a waste of time, but I can't help having butterflies in my stomach this morning. We are meeting the e-mom that selected our profile last week. I decided to bring homemade brownies and a card--a way to show that we care without coming across as trying to coerce her into adoption.

Does anyone else feel like it's impossible to keep your emotions straight when matched? With our DS, it was totally different. He was already 1 month old when his birthparents made their adoption plan and we picked him up from interim care at 6 weeks old. There was no "matched and waiting for placement" time. I am working very hard to stay away from thinking of this as "our" baby. I know that a match means very little and can fall through at any time. But...a match does mean something because we have to get ready for the baby's arrival and move forward thinking that we will be adopting her, even if we don't. If I sit around and imagine the match failing, I'll go crazy.

Man, adopting this way is stressful for everyone. There's this part of me that thinks it would be better to wait until a child's TPR has been signed before even knowing that you are matched with them. I knew the risks, though, and accept them as is. It is what it is, and it can be an amazingly wonderful experience.

I am open to any advice regarding how to keep my head screwed on straight until the due date--and I would totally appreciate prayers around 4 pm today

No advice! Just prayers.
The most notice we had was the day before. Otherwise, we were matched afterward - much less stressful IMO.

You're right - the waiting is very hard and it's such an emotional time. Remember - the expectant mother is probably as nervous as you are. And, if she picked you based on your profile, then she already knows quite a bit about you and already likes you. Take a couple deep breaths and just be yourself. I'm sure it will go fine.

I just said a prayer for all involved today. Let us know how it goes.

I agree that being matched after baby is born is way less stressful and was our experience as well. Praying for you and this expectant mom as she makes her decisions.

How did the meeting go??? I'm eager to hear!

Blessings,
Ruth