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I've been a complete emotional mess today! I'm not sure where it is all stemming from. I had a bad experience with a boss today that will need to be addressed tomorrow and I've been emotionally worked up about it. Then while talking to both my mom and DH tonight on the phone, I began feel like I was on the verge of tears about other things as well. And some of it was positive emotions.

I can't figure out what's going on. Is it stemming from adoption? Is it that I've just been away from home for so long and working so much? Is it that DH will be moving from our home to W. MI this week and the stress of getting a job transfer in place?

I don't know. I'm just an uncharacteristic mess!!!

(((Tulip)))

You do have a lot going on, lots of limbo and uncertainty, plus you have been away from DH for awhile, which is never any fun. I'm guessing that your feelings are a normal reaction to the amount of stress you are under at the moment, add Daisy's upcoming birthday and your body is reacting.

Hugs and I'll be thinking of you

Sorry I didn't see this until just now. So sorry you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions right now. I do think it is normal, though, and that we all go through cycles, depending on what we have on our plate. And you have a LOT on your plate right now! Hoping today was a fresh new start for you and that your conversation with your boss goes way better than you could expect. Let us know how it turns out.


((Hugs)) friend.

Edited once for privacy.

Meeting with boss had a great outcome, BUT I started crying!!! UGLY crying! I have NEVER in my life done anything like that and I was embarassed beyond belief. We were able to laugh about it afterward and I assured him that it was my "real life" that was making me so emotional, not him. But still, I feel like an idiot.

I still feel like I could go home and cry some more. I just can't figure out where all this emotion is coming from!

Go lock yourself in the bathroom. I'm glad stuff with your boss went ok. You DO have a lot going on right now, and even if most of it's good stuff, it's still a lot to deal with at once!

(maybe you're pregnant, that's always made me cry uncontrollably for no good reason.....)

That is possible, but it would have to had happened very recently, so I'm not sure I would have a hormone surge yet. I'm still about 8 days away from the expected "that time."

(((HUGS))). I get like that sometimes and it just sucks! Hope you start to feel more like yourself soon--and let yourself cry all you need to!

I was a total hot mess emotionally I think as soon as the moment of conception! It hits everyone differently. So don't rule it out!

Just to make you feel better - I've cried in front of so many people it's not even funny. Coworkers, bosses, patients at work, random strangers, baby sitters, day care providers...you name it. And once I start, I can't stop even if I wanted to!! (Which I totally WANT to stop)

Hopefully you're feeling a little better after getting some crying out. Like someone else said - let yourself cry all you need! Even if you have no idea why you're crying.

Ok, my first thought was baby! I kinda hope that's what it is...but you have so much going on it could be that too. I hope you feel better now! After my last few days everyone and their brother is going to see me cry...and my cry is ALWAY ugly!

I have a book on the physiology of trauma called The Body Remembers. Yes, I think it is related to Daisy. Our bodies carry those memories and are triggered by things like anniversaries, places, etc. It is not always something we are conscious of, but it makes us reactive. Be kind to yourself. I think I can safely say we've all been there.

(((Tulip))))

Has your week gotten any better?

I hope the rest of your week was better. Where is your husband moving to in West Michigan? By Grand Rapids?

Thanks for all the well-wishes! I have been doing much better for the past day... no more random crying! I'm still a little unnerved my by complete lack of control of my emotions from earlier, but I suppose there is any number of reasons for that.

If you read the book I would recommend that you do it when you are a little more emotionally stable. Reading it could be even more draining because it will force you to work or remember stuff.

I'm praying for you Tulip.

This is so true. I had a long discussion with my therapist about this and after going over the things that have happened in my life that are considered traumatic, he helped me realize that my body is remembering things about places or times of the year, though mine is related to childhood cancer and not relinquishment.

I agree to be kind to yourself